[spectre] Fwd: EXXON'S PLAN B FOR CLIMATE CALAMITY: BURN PEOPLE

[EAF Director]

>June 14, 2007
>FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
>
>EXXON PROPOSES BURNING HUMANITY FOR FUEL IF CLIMATE CALAMITY HITS
>Conference organizer fails to have Yes Men arrested
>
>     Text of speech, photos, video: http://www.vivoleum.com/event/
>     GO-EXPO statement: 
>http://newswire.ca/en/releases/archive/June2007/14/c5086.html
>     Press conference before this event, Friday, Calgary: 
>http://arusha.org/event/7214
>     Contact: mailto:fuel at theyesmen.org
>     More links at end of release.
>
>Imposters posing as ExxonMobil and National Petroleum Council (NPC)
>representatives delivered an outrageous keynote speech to 300 oilmen
>at GO-EXPO, Canada's largest oil conference, held at Stampede Park in
>Calgary, Alberta, today.
>
>The speech was billed beforehand by the GO-EXPO organizers as the
>major highlight of this year's conference, which had 20,000
>attendees. In it, the "NPC rep" was expected to deliver the long-awaited
>conclusions of a study commissioned by US Energy Secretary
>Samuel Bodman. The NPC is headed by former ExxonMobil CEO Lee
>Raymond, who is also the chair of the study. (See link at end.)
>
>In the actual speech, the "NPC rep" announced that current U.S. and
>Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive
>exploitation of Alberta's oil sands, and the development of liquid
>coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he
>reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil
>industry could "keep fuel flowing" by transforming the billions of
>people who die into oil.
>
>"We need something like whales, but infinitely more abundant," said
>"NPC rep" "Shepard Wolff" (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men),
>before describing the technology used to render human flesh into a
>new Exxon oil product called Vivoleum. 3-D animations of the process
>brought it to life.
>
>"Vivoleum works in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of
>fossil fuel production," noted "Exxon rep" "Florian Osenberg" (Yes
>Man Mike Bonanno). "With more fossil fuels comes a greater chance of
>disaster, but that means more feedstock for Vivoleum. Fuel will
>continue to flow for those of us left."
>
>The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit
>"commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the
>flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a
>toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video
>tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles
>after his death, and all became crystal-clear.
>
>At that point, Simon Mellor, Commercial & Business Development
>Director for the company putting on the event, strode up and
>physically forced the Yes Men from the stage. As Mellor escorted
>Bonanno out the door, a dozen journalists surrounded Bichlbaum, who,
>still in character as "Shepard Wolff," explained to them the
>rationale for Vivoleum.
>
>"We've got to get ready. After all, fossil fuel development like that
>of my company is increasing the chances of catastrophic climate
>change, which could lead to massive calamities, causing migration and
>conflicts that would likely disable the pipelines and oil wells.
>Without oil we could no longer produce or transport food, and most of
>humanity would starve. That would be a tragedy, but at least all
>those bodies could be turned into fuel for the rest of us."
>
>"We're not talking about killing anyone," added the "NPC rep." "We're
>talking about using them after nature has done the hard work. After
>all, 150,000 people already die from climate-change related effects
>every year. That's only going to go up - maybe way, way up. Will it
>all go to waste? That would be cruel."
>
>Security guards then dragged Bichlbaum away from the reporters, and
>he and Bonanno were detained until Calgary Police Service officers
>could arrive. The policemen, determining that no major infractions
>had been committed, permitted the Yes Men to leave.
>
>Canada's oil sands, along with "liquid coal," are keystones of Bush's
>Energy Security plan. Mining the oil sands is one of the dirtiest
>forms of oil production and has turned Canada into one of the world's
>worst carbon emitters. The production of "liquid coal" has twice the
>carbon footprint as that of ordinary gasoline. Such technologies
>increase the likelihood of massive climate catastrophes that will
>condemn to death untold millions of people, mainly poor.
>
>"If our idea of energy security is to increase the chances of climate
>calamity, we have a very funny sense of what security really is,"
>Bonanno said. "While ExxonMobil continues to post record profits,
>they use their money to persuade governments to do nothing about
>climate change. This is a crime against humanity."
>
>"Putting the former Exxon CEO in charge of the NPC, and soliciting
>his advice on our energy future, is like putting the wolf in charge
>of the flock," said "Shepard Wolff" (Bichlbaum). "Exxon has done more
>damage to the environment and to our chances of survival than any
>other company on earth. Why should we let them determine our future?"
>
>     About the NPC and ExxonMobil: 
>http://ga3.org/campaign/lee_raymond/explanation
>     About the Alberta oil sands: 
>http://www.sierraclub.ca/prairie/tarnation.htm
>     About liquid coal: http://www.sierraclub.org/coal/liquidcoal/


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